Happy Mother's Day Mom

I have always been my dad's daughter. Somehow I was never on the same plane as my mother. If she said east I would make it sure that I took the west. As a kid she wanted me to behave like a girl but I always wanted to be like a boy. Later she wanted me to become a doctor and I opted for engineering. She wanted me to get married and settled in India when I thought I wanted to study abroad.

And I left home far away to pursue my dream.

After being so far off from her I know now that comes as a challenge. Everything she said and did was with a purpose. She wanted me to do good eventually. Right from trying to settle myself, taking care not to fall ill due to sudden weather change, cooking tasty enough while managing studies simultaneously, I've learn't all after staying away from home and her .

It was so different when I was back at home. She would give me everything in hand. If she called me to cook, I would just run away from the kitchen. While leaving India when I tried cooking something, it would be so close to imperfect. She wondered how I would survive outside. Throughout my life the only place I must have helped her must have been to bring something from some shop, sometimes make chapatis or dal, grind puran for her during holi and help her in making some diwali snacks, mainly because I loved eating them and she threatened me that she wont make any if I didn't help her.

I don't remember any single thing for which I must not have taken her beatings. I have always troubled her. I was stubborn and she was headstronger than me. She had been strict with me. She always thought that girls ought to be demure and not too outspoken like I always had been. She knew I was going to face the music for my outspokenness someday. Thanks to her I have become more like a girl and less like a boy.

Despite all those differences my mother has been a fantastic lady. I still wonder how she managed the house, kids like me and my brother, juxtaposing with her job. She did a fantastic job. As a kid I thought that parents are born with this unusual talent of taking care of the household and handling their jobs. I thought it was their duty, but as I grew I learn't it's not the way it seemed to my naive mind. There goes in a lot of effort behind the edifice called house that we stay in. And she had been the most important pillar of my house.

I'm blessed to have so lovely parents and such a lovely mom. I think that the love covers for all the skirmishes that we may share in our mother daughter relationship.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. Thank you for bringing me into this wonderful world. I wouldn't have been here without you. And I know you will always love me even if I'm your 'nalayak mulgi' :D

Weddings In The US

USA is a country with a lot of difference in culture than what we have it back in India.

What I like most about this place is that people wait really very hard till they feel that now they are ready for commitment. They date, stay with each other, learn about their likes and dislikes, check for compatibilities, some even have kids before being spouses. And only when they are sure about their compatibilities do they go ahead with commitment followed by engagement which eventually culminates into a marriage.

Though personally, I wouldn't like to go ahead with a guy without commitment but for the Americans it's not unusual and hence it suits most of them.

The preparation for the wedding starts with the 'Bridal Shower'. It is hosted by the girl's colleagues, family and friends at one of the colleague's or friend's place. Prior, the girl selects some shops from where she wishes to receive gifts. She then shortlists certain items from each of the shops. What the guests have to do is buy one item under her list of selected items from any of these shortlisted shops. It even has a facility of returning the gifts back and getting something else if she changes her mind after receiving them.

After assembling at the place the gifts are opened one by one, few words are exchanged and then the crowd has some snacks and then disperses.

The tradition of bridal shower began in the 16th century when dowry existed here and if a girl's family was poor or if her father refused to pay for the wedding due to some differences then her friends and family members would shower her with gifts that she liked so that she could start her family. The tradition today continues for all weddings irrespective of the girl being rich or poor.

I like this tradition. Most of the little things that the bride and groom require to start their family come from friends & family as gifts and the best part is that the things are not repeated. Unlike back in India, they don't have too many clocks, ganesh idols, 4-5 dinner sets, 2-3 mixers and stuff of which half the things the two will never be able to use or even return back. In India it even feels awkward to ask people to get something you like for your wedding and for real there are very few people who care to ask the bride and groom about the gifts they would like to have.

The next they have is a 'Bachelor's Party' for the guy and 'Bachelorette Party' for the girl. These are hosted two-three days before the wedding by either their siblings or close friends. It's more of an informal party where there is a lot of fun and frolicking that goes on from boozing to watching striptease of the other sex.

In India we have this in a bit different manner. Some families hold the Bachelorette Party in the name of 'Ladies Sangeet' where the women in the family have dhol, music and bantering between the ladies about the girl and her to be mother and sisters in law. Some do skip the Sangeet and then there is this important 'Haldi' and 'Mehendi' tradition a day or two before the wedding. I love this event and believe me people even here like it but it's not traditional to them.

It's every girl's dream to have a Prince Charming and a beautiful marriage. The weddings here are a grand expensive affair. They can range anywhere between $20,000 to $150,000+ depending on how much you can spend and willing to shell out. The three things that count the most in the wedding are the bride's dress, the venue & ambiance of the wedding and the food. A good dress in itself costs anything between $1000 to $10,000+. That's too much of money, isn't it?

When the D-day arrives there is soothing music played at the venue followed by the arrival of the best-man and best-lady, then a little girl arrives with pouring flowers from her small basket and then there is the bride that arrives with her father to be handed over to the groom awaiting at the rostrum. They exchange rings and vows of being together. And then the priest declares them man and wife.

They then have the reception where people enjoy food and dance. Some arrange for some programmes for the guests while others just have fun with drinking and being on the dance floor. There is a cake cutting ceremony after the bride has danced with her brother and dad. It's a bit different than in India where in receptions we stand in long queues to give the gifts we buy for the couple.

That's it! The good thing is that weddings here don't take too much time with the wows and mantras the way some weddings take place back in India. I like it. Simple, sober and elegant.