Am I with a right partner?

Nice article I read somewhere:

Am I with a right partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are Physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are Predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!!

A Battle With Bedbugs

A month back I moved back to my 'old apartment' that was prior subleased by me to a bunch of guys while I had stayed in a shared accommodation with another female.

When I returned to my 'old apartment', two things got crystal clear to me, first that guys don't care about keeping the house neat & clean and second that even if they say that they will take care about 'no bedbugs and fleas' instructions you gave them yet chances are maximum that they won't succeed. That's exactly what happened in my case.

Last month end I packed in all my belongings to move back and safely kept them in my 'old apartment' oblivious of the fact that the tiny creatures are stealthily waiting to enter my freshly packed luggage. Once the guys got done with their shifting, I happened to observe a can of 'Raid for bugs' lying in one corner. On asking the reply was, "Yes, we did see one or two bedbugs so we sprayed it." For some reason I felt like believing the crap that guys were quick in action. No, that's not true. They waited till the infestation was bad and that's the home I entered in now.

A day after entering the house, I happened to see one bed bug on my carpet place-mat and a small mosquito like bite on my neck; Courtesy the hero bedbug I just caught. Thinking that there might probably not be many bedbugs around as told by the guys, I sprayed 'Raid for bugs' on all corners of the house followed by vacuuming. This I did for three subsequent days. In the meanwhile I tried to do some research about bedbug infestations and how to get rid of them. I read about diatomaceous earth food-grade powder and ordered it online. This white colored powder dehydrates the bugs if they crawl through the powder, eventually killing them. The spraying and vacuuming continued till the powder came home. I also washed all my bedding material i.e. bedsheet, bedskirt, comforter, fleece blanket and pillow covers .

When the powder arrived I dusted it on all corners except the closet and the kitchen since I read that bedbugs mainly get attracted to the carbon-dioxide we exhale. After dusting the powder I had forgotten about the bedbugs for almost two weeks when one fine day I woke up with a burning sensation on my ring finger as if hot oil fell on it. I began scratching my finger thinking that may be oil must have flown on my finger while cooking. The finger was swollen but I let it go.

The next day my right hand suddenly felt badly bitten by many mosquitoes while I was attending a lecture in school. I thought it must have been some mosquito in the classroom. There were three bites that had become swollen red and each bulged to approximately an inch in diameter with all scratch marks around due to my scratching. I was wondering about the mosquitoes when I asked some of my lab-mates if they could recognize the bites. And there they caught it. "These are bedbugs." Yes, bed bug leave a chemical on your body which reacts with your skin and you scratch it depending on how sensitive your skin is. In my case it happened to be real sensitive and me badly bitten.

I was horrified. What was the powder doing then? My whole house had white powder around borders which was supposed to protect me and apparently the powder failed to do what it was supposed to do. I felt it wasn't dehydrating these stubborn creatures or they have acquired immunity against the powder too. Bedbugs have a very good immune system like humans. I din't know what to do and fervidly started searching them in my bed. I couldn't trace any. Yet, I washed the bedding material again.

The next day I woke up at wee hours of 5am with my left hand bitten badly too. I again looked for them in the bed. I couldn't find any yet I washed the bedding again. But this time I put the diatomaceous earth powder on my mattress and plastic covered it. I thought these buggers must have entered inside the bed and will now get killed on contact with the powder.

I tried to sleep peacefully that night just to find my both legs swollen with bedbug bites. The slowly healing hands were again bitten and feasted on by a couple of hungry young bedbugs in their nymph stage. I began to think why the hell are they still biting me when it suddenly struck me that I had left my closet area uncovered by the powder. My bed had powder all over so it was not likely that they can be in or near the bed. And like a tubelight after being bitten for almost a week I realized that the heros have gotten into my closet, my luggage and my clothes.

There I was. Happy realization at 4am on a friday morning. I dragged myself upto the lab half sleepy that morning. When I was back by evening I took a set of clothes out and washed them in hot water dried on hottest arrangement in the dryer, packed them separately and kept it on a chair. Voila! I slept well that night with just itching from previous bites but that was still better than being freshly bitten. I had to bear with the bedbugs for the weekend but knowing where they are coming from was the biggest relief. I washed all the remaining clothes over the weekend and packed them in dustbin bags. I had a total of 8 such bags full by now.

On monday morning I called the pest control bedbug inspector to check for bugs. He came in by tuesday and showed the pockets where the bugs were hiding and laid their eggs. They had done so all around my closet and inside the sockets all around my bedroom. I was so mad at those guys. But there was nothing I could do now except treating the problem. Yet the vacuuming, cleaning, spraying and dusting the powder minimized the bedbugs to a good extent. They would have got all eliminated probably just had I not missed on dusting the powder in the closet.

We zeroed on thursday as the day for pest-control. The work took a couple of hours to remove them from all crevices. It was a chemical treatment @ $325 damage after $100 I already spent on the powder and sprays. When I was back that day I felt a sense of relief. The trauma that the bedbugs had caused me was immense. It's been a week since I had the pest-control done yet first few days and even now sometimes I feel something is still biting me. But I haven't seen them since nor have I had a dreadful bedbug bite (touchwood) and hope they are gone forever.

I have learnt from other people that they generally come back. May be after 5months or so. Well, but I have learn't how to get rid of them now. The most important thing starts with finding where they come from and now that I can find them I know I'll win any battle with these buggers.