Am I with a right partner?

Nice article I read somewhere:

Am I with a right partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are Physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are Predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!!

A Battle With Bedbugs

A month back I moved back to my 'old apartment' that was prior subleased by me to a bunch of guys while I had stayed in a shared accommodation with another female.

When I returned to my 'old apartment', two things got crystal clear to me, first that guys don't care about keeping the house neat & clean and second that even if they say that they will take care about 'no bedbugs and fleas' instructions you gave them yet chances are maximum that they won't succeed. That's exactly what happened in my case.

Last month end I packed in all my belongings to move back and safely kept them in my 'old apartment' oblivious of the fact that the tiny creatures are stealthily waiting to enter my freshly packed luggage. Once the guys got done with their shifting, I happened to observe a can of 'Raid for bugs' lying in one corner. On asking the reply was, "Yes, we did see one or two bedbugs so we sprayed it." For some reason I felt like believing the crap that guys were quick in action. No, that's not true. They waited till the infestation was bad and that's the home I entered in now.

A day after entering the house, I happened to see one bed bug on my carpet place-mat and a small mosquito like bite on my neck; Courtesy the hero bedbug I just caught. Thinking that there might probably not be many bedbugs around as told by the guys, I sprayed 'Raid for bugs' on all corners of the house followed by vacuuming. This I did for three subsequent days. In the meanwhile I tried to do some research about bedbug infestations and how to get rid of them. I read about diatomaceous earth food-grade powder and ordered it online. This white colored powder dehydrates the bugs if they crawl through the powder, eventually killing them. The spraying and vacuuming continued till the powder came home. I also washed all my bedding material i.e. bedsheet, bedskirt, comforter, fleece blanket and pillow covers .

When the powder arrived I dusted it on all corners except the closet and the kitchen since I read that bedbugs mainly get attracted to the carbon-dioxide we exhale. After dusting the powder I had forgotten about the bedbugs for almost two weeks when one fine day I woke up with a burning sensation on my ring finger as if hot oil fell on it. I began scratching my finger thinking that may be oil must have flown on my finger while cooking. The finger was swollen but I let it go.

The next day my right hand suddenly felt badly bitten by many mosquitoes while I was attending a lecture in school. I thought it must have been some mosquito in the classroom. There were three bites that had become swollen red and each bulged to approximately an inch in diameter with all scratch marks around due to my scratching. I was wondering about the mosquitoes when I asked some of my lab-mates if they could recognize the bites. And there they caught it. "These are bedbugs." Yes, bed bug leave a chemical on your body which reacts with your skin and you scratch it depending on how sensitive your skin is. In my case it happened to be real sensitive and me badly bitten.

I was horrified. What was the powder doing then? My whole house had white powder around borders which was supposed to protect me and apparently the powder failed to do what it was supposed to do. I felt it wasn't dehydrating these stubborn creatures or they have acquired immunity against the powder too. Bedbugs have a very good immune system like humans. I din't know what to do and fervidly started searching them in my bed. I couldn't trace any. Yet, I washed the bedding material again.

The next day I woke up at wee hours of 5am with my left hand bitten badly too. I again looked for them in the bed. I couldn't find any yet I washed the bedding again. But this time I put the diatomaceous earth powder on my mattress and plastic covered it. I thought these buggers must have entered inside the bed and will now get killed on contact with the powder.

I tried to sleep peacefully that night just to find my both legs swollen with bedbug bites. The slowly healing hands were again bitten and feasted on by a couple of hungry young bedbugs in their nymph stage. I began to think why the hell are they still biting me when it suddenly struck me that I had left my closet area uncovered by the powder. My bed had powder all over so it was not likely that they can be in or near the bed. And like a tubelight after being bitten for almost a week I realized that the heros have gotten into my closet, my luggage and my clothes.

There I was. Happy realization at 4am on a friday morning. I dragged myself upto the lab half sleepy that morning. When I was back by evening I took a set of clothes out and washed them in hot water dried on hottest arrangement in the dryer, packed them separately and kept it on a chair. Voila! I slept well that night with just itching from previous bites but that was still better than being freshly bitten. I had to bear with the bedbugs for the weekend but knowing where they are coming from was the biggest relief. I washed all the remaining clothes over the weekend and packed them in dustbin bags. I had a total of 8 such bags full by now.

On monday morning I called the pest control bedbug inspector to check for bugs. He came in by tuesday and showed the pockets where the bugs were hiding and laid their eggs. They had done so all around my closet and inside the sockets all around my bedroom. I was so mad at those guys. But there was nothing I could do now except treating the problem. Yet the vacuuming, cleaning, spraying and dusting the powder minimized the bedbugs to a good extent. They would have got all eliminated probably just had I not missed on dusting the powder in the closet.

We zeroed on thursday as the day for pest-control. The work took a couple of hours to remove them from all crevices. It was a chemical treatment @ $325 damage after $100 I already spent on the powder and sprays. When I was back that day I felt a sense of relief. The trauma that the bedbugs had caused me was immense. It's been a week since I had the pest-control done yet first few days and even now sometimes I feel something is still biting me. But I haven't seen them since nor have I had a dreadful bedbug bite (touchwood) and hope they are gone forever.

I have learnt from other people that they generally come back. May be after 5months or so. Well, but I have learn't how to get rid of them now. The most important thing starts with finding where they come from and now that I can find them I know I'll win any battle with these buggers.

A Very Valuable Lesson to Learn...

A nice article shared by my friend today...I thought of sharing too...

Interesting quote for the movie "Why did I get married?"

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship… There is always another person (man or woman) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT and believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%.
Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.

You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . .."

Or because your wife is a somebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have..

But I'm not just talking about marriage.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.

About your friends.

About your children.

About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that... Forget about what the world says is first class.. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message???

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!

Lehrein...

Love this song from the movie 'Aisha'.


Lehrein | Musicians Available

Nice Messages

Some day a friend of mind forwarded me these couple of messages that remained silently in my mail box and I just happened to see them today while checking for some other detail. Nice messages indeed:

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TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

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NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

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RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

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BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

"I'll Never Give Up"

There must have been so many occasions in your life when you must have felt the weakest. Nothing might have been working the way you had planned. To add to it, amidst life's uncertainty when no one remains by your side, things start to get even tougher. Yet, nothing can beat your own conviction and your will power to stand against the odd times.

We are all winners, just that sometimes we forget that life is just like that and we need not give up at any instance.

I like listening to this song whenever I feel low. Helps me. One of my favorite songs.

Win | Musicians Available

Psychology Of The Winner

Thought of sharing this excellent article. Worth reading and self motivating :)

Beautifully Imperfect!

I found the below video really beautiful. It convey's the message so clearly, that we are all imperfect in some or the other way. Yet, we are all beautiful people around and what adds to the beauty is the fact that people in our lives accept and love us even with those little imperfections.

That's the way even we need to treat them.

Days Of Favorite Ads

Remember the days of early advertisements on television? Some were really good. I managed to compile a few of them below.

Dairy Milk- it still hits the number one chart in favorite chocolates in India.


Humara Bajaj- the scooter long disappeared but this ad is still fresh in our minds. Loved the music.


Sunny Zip- I really pity the poor left out guy. Don't know why I never found someone like that :D


One Black coffee please- the first time I saw this one I just couldn't control my laughter.


Dhara Ad- The Jalebi boy made a sweet impact on our minds :)


Titan song- sweet gesture by dad to his daughter.


Raymonds complete man- while all the Raymond's ads are good, I liked this one.


Amul Milk- Watch the cute cow in the end :)


I'm a Complan boy and girl- That's Shahid and Ayesha.


Vicks- I was very young when this ad was released. It really made me think that this guy called 'khichkhich' actually lived in our throats :)


Ajanta Clocks- The song was a nice one.


Bajaj Bulbs- How can someone forget this guy?


Lijjat Papad rabbit- O my favorite rabbit.


Parle G-This biscuit tastes awesome with milk. I still eat it even after being in US :)


Liril with Priti Zinta- The peppy lady with her pretty dance.


Fewikwik- funny and convey's the message so coherently :)



Tanishq- A recent but brilliant ad.

Magic Of Love

Perhaps the most commonly used and least understood word 'love', seems to have numerous definitions as per ones convenience. But what is love for real? A feeling, care, a want? what?

There are people like your family that you can't choose but still most of us are privileged to have a family we say we love. There are people who come in our lives and get so close to our heart that we claim to love them. Some say they love god and others love small things that can make them delighted. These feelings are developed over a period of time.

So is love something that can make you happy, make you feel that you are in heaven, get the most of caring out of you? Then why is today's love so indifferent? Why does it think so selfish? Why is it so self centered that it only thinks about itself and not the one it claims to love? Or perhaps even if it does think then where does all the thinking disappear?

Say it's you. You find a person A in your life. After a period of time you think he or she is crazy, you think, think and think and then decide to leave him or her for good. Then the same you finds a person B and over sometime finds him or her acting crazy in a different manner so you decide to leave B and run to C and then to D and then to E and now you say, "wait a minute, how is it that the people I find are all crazy. There should be something wrong with my thought of not being able to love people in my life right from A to E." So you want to talk to E. You say,"E lets talk. Lets try to sort this out....." Now you understand it. If you did prior you would have saved so much of your time.

It took you time from A to E to get wise that love doesn't come out of your wants. It emanates from the understanding. It's not just about being together in good times but also about the rough times. Love is not always happy. It faces its own doldrums. Its sad face is very ugly and perhaps not many want to face it. But even in its ugly and tryst times it is kind, it feels and feels deeply for the one you love.

If you never felt for someone so deeply, if you couldn't forgive someone with whole heart, if you couldn't understand a person and stand by them in their bad times, if your heart never cried for them then indeed you never loved that someone. And if you didn't then try doing it some day. Don't expect in return (or it can make you insane because then you are not loving, but wanting something in return). You may not always succeed and chances are that you may get more hurt than you thought. But you know what, love is miraculous. Loved with all purity of heart, it'll make you really strong. And because you don't expect a thing from it, what you get in return will be far more than what you thought. But do it selflessly. You won't regret to love.

Remember that love is not a form of lust or want. It's just pure love. It is innocent, it knows how to forgive, how to be strong in thick and thin, how to stand and protect in need and how to give even when that's the last thing you have. It is profound, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards the one we love. It has a deeper meaning than one can comprehend and yet it is the most simplest and basic forms of life.

As Lord Byron puts it, "Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape, but what's in your heart will remain forever. There is no instinct like that of the heart."

It makes your life worthwhile. That's the power and magic of love.

Happy Mother's Day Mom

I have always been my dad's daughter. Somehow I was never on the same plane as my mother. If she said east I would make it sure that I took the west. As a kid she wanted me to behave like a girl but I always wanted to be like a boy. Later she wanted me to become a doctor and I opted for engineering. She wanted me to get married and settled in India when I thought I wanted to study abroad.

And I left home far away to pursue my dream.

After being so far off from her I know now that comes as a challenge. Everything she said and did was with a purpose. She wanted me to do good eventually. Right from trying to settle myself, taking care not to fall ill due to sudden weather change, cooking tasty enough while managing studies simultaneously, I've learn't all after staying away from home and her .

It was so different when I was back at home. She would give me everything in hand. If she called me to cook, I would just run away from the kitchen. While leaving India when I tried cooking something, it would be so close to imperfect. She wondered how I would survive outside. Throughout my life the only place I must have helped her must have been to bring something from some shop, sometimes make chapatis or dal, grind puran for her during holi and help her in making some diwali snacks, mainly because I loved eating them and she threatened me that she wont make any if I didn't help her.

I don't remember any single thing for which I must not have taken her beatings. I have always troubled her. I was stubborn and she was headstronger than me. She had been strict with me. She always thought that girls ought to be demure and not too outspoken like I always had been. She knew I was going to face the music for my outspokenness someday. Thanks to her I have become more like a girl and less like a boy.

Despite all those differences my mother has been a fantastic lady. I still wonder how she managed the house, kids like me and my brother, juxtaposing with her job. She did a fantastic job. As a kid I thought that parents are born with this unusual talent of taking care of the household and handling their jobs. I thought it was their duty, but as I grew I learn't it's not the way it seemed to my naive mind. There goes in a lot of effort behind the edifice called house that we stay in. And she had been the most important pillar of my house.

I'm blessed to have so lovely parents and such a lovely mom. I think that the love covers for all the skirmishes that we may share in our mother daughter relationship.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. Thank you for bringing me into this wonderful world. I wouldn't have been here without you. And I know you will always love me even if I'm your 'nalayak mulgi' :D

Weddings In The US

USA is a country with a lot of difference in culture than what we have it back in India.

What I like most about this place is that people wait really very hard till they feel that now they are ready for commitment. They date, stay with each other, learn about their likes and dislikes, check for compatibilities, some even have kids before being spouses. And only when they are sure about their compatibilities do they go ahead with commitment followed by engagement which eventually culminates into a marriage.

Though personally, I wouldn't like to go ahead with a guy without commitment but for the Americans it's not unusual and hence it suits most of them.

The preparation for the wedding starts with the 'Bridal Shower'. It is hosted by the girl's colleagues, family and friends at one of the colleague's or friend's place. Prior, the girl selects some shops from where she wishes to receive gifts. She then shortlists certain items from each of the shops. What the guests have to do is buy one item under her list of selected items from any of these shortlisted shops. It even has a facility of returning the gifts back and getting something else if she changes her mind after receiving them.

After assembling at the place the gifts are opened one by one, few words are exchanged and then the crowd has some snacks and then disperses.

The tradition of bridal shower began in the 16th century when dowry existed here and if a girl's family was poor or if her father refused to pay for the wedding due to some differences then her friends and family members would shower her with gifts that she liked so that she could start her family. The tradition today continues for all weddings irrespective of the girl being rich or poor.

I like this tradition. Most of the little things that the bride and groom require to start their family come from friends & family as gifts and the best part is that the things are not repeated. Unlike back in India, they don't have too many clocks, ganesh idols, 4-5 dinner sets, 2-3 mixers and stuff of which half the things the two will never be able to use or even return back. In India it even feels awkward to ask people to get something you like for your wedding and for real there are very few people who care to ask the bride and groom about the gifts they would like to have.

The next they have is a 'Bachelor's Party' for the guy and 'Bachelorette Party' for the girl. These are hosted two-three days before the wedding by either their siblings or close friends. It's more of an informal party where there is a lot of fun and frolicking that goes on from boozing to watching striptease of the other sex.

In India we have this in a bit different manner. Some families hold the Bachelorette Party in the name of 'Ladies Sangeet' where the women in the family have dhol, music and bantering between the ladies about the girl and her to be mother and sisters in law. Some do skip the Sangeet and then there is this important 'Haldi' and 'Mehendi' tradition a day or two before the wedding. I love this event and believe me people even here like it but it's not traditional to them.

It's every girl's dream to have a Prince Charming and a beautiful marriage. The weddings here are a grand expensive affair. They can range anywhere between $20,000 to $150,000+ depending on how much you can spend and willing to shell out. The three things that count the most in the wedding are the bride's dress, the venue & ambiance of the wedding and the food. A good dress in itself costs anything between $1000 to $10,000+. That's too much of money, isn't it?

When the D-day arrives there is soothing music played at the venue followed by the arrival of the best-man and best-lady, then a little girl arrives with pouring flowers from her small basket and then there is the bride that arrives with her father to be handed over to the groom awaiting at the rostrum. They exchange rings and vows of being together. And then the priest declares them man and wife.

They then have the reception where people enjoy food and dance. Some arrange for some programmes for the guests while others just have fun with drinking and being on the dance floor. There is a cake cutting ceremony after the bride has danced with her brother and dad. It's a bit different than in India where in receptions we stand in long queues to give the gifts we buy for the couple.

That's it! The good thing is that weddings here don't take too much time with the wows and mantras the way some weddings take place back in India. I like it. Simple, sober and elegant.

पाऊस

सुरेख मराठी कविता ऐकून फार वेळ झाला आहे आणि काल भरल्या पावसाळ्या दिवशी ही छानशी कविता ऐकून मनाला अक्दी खुदकन हसु आले :)


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A Discrimination Free Society

Perhaps it gives an identity to man, perhaps it's inevitable to know where he belongs to for once but is that all that we live for? To preserve the name of our religion, caste and color? Does nothing go beyond it?

It's a sensitive issue.

I saw a debate between two people fighting against sentiments related to caste. It's Dr. Ambedkar's birth anniversary today and the topic of debate was to give him a fair share of respect for being the chief architect of constitution of India. While one of the two refused to give him any sort of credit the other showed a tolerance towards the title what he deserved.

I dont know if the latter man had any political motives behind what he spoke about but yes one thing is for sure that it made me feel nice. Nice because by sentiments I belong to the so called 'backward class'. I revere Dr. Ambedkar as a god and wouldn't really like someone poking things on his virtues. (of course at the same time just because he's being nice I'll not blindly follow whatever he talks to me in the name of my religion.)

And my feelings are not unusual. They are equally reflected by all castes and societies in the world about their religious sentiments. If I respect how a Hindu or a subcaste of it, a Muslim or a Christian feels for his religion, if I'm tolerant towards them then I deserve to be looked up by them with equal amount of reverence. A society that fails to do this causes itself to highly imbalance upon it's own strengths and crumbles.

As a kid I never knew what caste or religion is. It came as a horror to me when I came to know that some people were once treated untouchables and the next horror was to know that I belong to their pedigree. Not that I chose to be one. But I was and I have to live with it. I'm in a better position than most of the others that are still behind and I know there is a long way to go and I don't want to be setting any wrong examples for people.

Today if I look back, I know that yes, probably I would have never made it to school if my dad never had the reservation facility and I wouldn't have been an engineer without it. Though I feel sad for the guys who equally deserved being in the engineering stream but couldn't make it just because they were not backward classed or not monetarily sufficient even though they belonged to the backward class, but I know that a person who wants to make good in today's scenario will do good by any means. And he or she can do that without having hard feeling for someone.

World has changed a lot. But counter to what I thought that with time the barrier between people regards their religion and caste would change, the chasm seems to have widened. There is only a fraction of people who believe and stand for that it's incorrect to distinguish. It's incorrect to compare yourself with someone who's one entire generation has never been to school. It's incorrect to not stand by the woman you love just because she belongs to so called backward class. It's incorrect to dump your friend just because he doesn't have the same religion as you.

And even if it's incorrect we do discriminate. Because we care about the society, the people from our community, the people with whom we mingle. What will they call us? - An outcaste perhaps. Just to keep the heart of some it's easier to break the other than to learn to convince. It's easier to break the country to pieces, it's easier to live in fragments than whole. And most of them love to take the easy way out.

As for me, I dream of a discrimination free society. Perhaps it sounds like a hypothetical one. But I dream of it. I know some people work to make it one. My hand contributes to those. For those who aren't a part of my dream, I hope atleast they shouldn't try to take my this dream away.

Who Knew!

Those were real sweet times.

You were so callow, unfledged and innocent. You wanted to beat up people who said "this thing wont work out". You were so recalcitrant and rebellious. There was nothing for you to believe that it can't happen or it's all over. There were things you were frantically relentless about.

That was really a beautiful age when you were not matured and wanted things your way. When you thought everything happens your way. When you thought of things that you thought wont go wrong.

This song reminds me very much of that time. Some people. Some moments. Lost long ago. Who knew.

Who Knew - Pink | Music Upload

To Tokyo With Paris

Well, don't confuse with the names. Tokyo is a Japanese restaurant in Beaumont and Paris is a student from one University that we are having a collaboration with on a certain project.

So when Paris was to bid us a bye before his last day in our lab, our guide decided to take our group and him on dinner. And Tokyo was the place.

In US I normally like eating at home so I was kind of skeptical about eating out. But it was a pleasure being out with everyone. On the way, our guide's car's one tire gave up. And changing the tire added to the adventure in the middle of highway on that dark night. Nevertheless, thanks to the sturdy guys the job was done in less than half an hour and we were back to move.

The thing I liked most about the place was its ambiance. And next was the service. The best part was they cook the dishes on the table top (covered with metal) right in front of your eyes while you are comfortably sitting and having the starters. Yes, that's the beauty. I've never been to any restaurant like that before. This part about the restaurant appealed to me a lot.

And then the biggest part was food. Being a veggie and not eating at many places comes out with certain amount of disadvantage. I had ordered veg mushroom fried rice and veg rolls as starter both minus eggs (here egg is veg).

I thought the veg roll would be something like the one we have them back in India (the spring rolls with noodles in samosa like patties). Instead, here they have raw cucumber and raw yellow and red bell peppers (Shimla Mirch) covered with white boiled rice which is covered with sea weed. Sea weed tastes almost like raw fish and that gave a real hard time for me to eat it.

After it came the mushroom fried rice which was boiled white rice cooked in soya sauce and topped with mushrooms and cucumbers. That's it. May be my taste buds are not accustomed to eat food like this so I was a bit disappointed but then I managed to eat something in the two dishes. Kudos! :)

It was a bit embarrassing though because my plate was barely empty compared to my guide who was sitting on one side of me with sushi (rice covered by raw fish) and Paris who was seated on the other side with Tokyo special and both completely emptied their plates. So in the end everyone concluded that I eat like a sparrow so I look like one :D (well, that's not a fact).

And then was time for the big boss "Icecream". That came in thanks to one of my sweetest friend in the group who was also concerned about the flirting that was going on amidst the food fiesta. I could see something burning ;)

Well jokes apart. It had been a nice evening. I enjoyed a lot :)...to Tokyo with Paris and my lab mates.

Atitude is Altitude

This is something really inspiring that I had seen today. I thought I need to share it.

It's a story about Nick Vijicic from Australia, who's born without arms or legs and yet inspires people to live to the best of their abilities and not stop dreaming.

See:
No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!

A similar thing came to my inbox:

LET IT REALLY SINK IN....... THEN CHOOSE .

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!'

'You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or....you can choose to be in a bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life..

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said.. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business.

We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or.....I could choose to die. I chose to live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked.

He continued, '...the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live.. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude....I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34